I am going to type through this to work out whether or not this analogy holds water. I was thinking of the parent/child relationship in reference to Paul’s verses in Galatians 3:23-24 about the Law being the guardian until Christ came that we might be justified through faith. It’s not a perfect analogy, but our relationship as parent-children is something like it. Until you are adults/are acting like adults, our relationship is largely based on rules and boundaries to keep you safe and grow you up into a well rounded individual, equipped to be used by God however He sees fit.
Then when you begin to act like adults, the rules and regulations, boundaries and safety nets begin to fade away and in its place this relationship primarily based on faith and trust begins. At first we are all just testing the waters of it to see what you are ready for, progressively giving you more and more freedom. But then, suddenly, it’s all gone, and I have no hold on you or your life what-so-ever.
There is a part of me that wants to fear that. I love your sweet innocence and your untainted hearts to believe everything I tell you like it’s the gospel truth. I love that you trust my decisions so blindly and even your questioning of me is all for the sake of learning and understanding. I love being the one to make decisions on your safety and having the ability to keep a constant eye on you and on all of your decisions. If I let myself, I can dread and agonize over the loss of this power I have over 4 of the most important people who will ever be in my life, especially considering all the dangerous and useless life choices there are to make out there.
However, I also have loved every minute of watching you guys growing up so far. I love watching you blossom and grow and become your own person. I love watching you reason through things and come to an understanding for yourselves. I love that I can trust you to walk around the corner or run in the woods behind the house without my constant hovering. I love being able to take my hands off of your relationships a little bit and let you make your own mistakes to learn from. Every step of independence I have given you, you have thrived, made me proud. You inspire other people who you come in contact with, and your precious personalities and hearts for the Lord encourage people everywhere we go from your Sunday school teachers to the people who sit across from us at restaurants.
I LOVED my babies and I always wanted more, but they were so much work and responsibility for me. In retrospect, I think I almost lost my mind with the weight of it all. So, whenever I start to fear the future, I look at how far we’ve come! I’m just going to have faith and trust that it only gets better from here. I will get the pleasure of seeing you grow to make great decision, get an education, use it for the Lord’s glory, maybe marry and bring me grandbabies here and there and bring me more joy than I could have imagined while I am still spanking bottoms for swinging from the ceiling fans instead of getting ready for bed.
As our relationship based on rules and regulations, boundaries and safety nets shifts to one completely based on faith and trust, I am going to begin practicing now. I’m not going to worry about things that haven’t happened yet, and I’m going to keep pouring myself into training you guys how to think and act for yourselves, and then have faith and trust in God to do the rest. . . even if you guys take a redemption requiring detour along the way to getting to all God has called for you to be. After all, that’s what God demonstrated for us even unto the death of His one and only son. I love you no matter what.